Talk:Haunted by My Shadow
The plot is immersing, it builds up tension quite effectively, it's quite original, and overall makes for a pretty good story. But check the story for grammatical and punctuation errors, it could use an edit, otherwise it's fine. Pretty good indeed guys! Very tasty pasta! gah, my bad, forgot to tag my post. Pretty good indeed, very tasty pasta Icarus88 (talk) 00:44, March 8, 2013 (UTC) Haunted by my shadow appears to have a pretty solid idea of what it wants to do and the kind of story it wants to tell. It's obvious that both writers wanted to go for a fully immersive story by letting us feel both the main character's fear and his sense of hopelessness as he finds himself lost in the middle of a forest, hunted by something that should have stayed dead. However, the story is in desperate need of a decrease in length. I have noticed that the writers, in their attempt to create a setting and describe it, end up going in detail about a lot of unnecessary elements in the narrative that hurt the pacing and slow the story down to a crawl. This is what leads to constant repetition (I did this, I did that, etc) which ruins the panicked atmosphere entirely. It's this repetition that also hurts the first-person perspective, which works wonders for horror stories. The story does not appear to have too many grammatical or syntax errors but requires a significant reduction in length and a more frantic approach. Less is more in a first-person perspective narrative and fixing that will make Haunted By My Shadow a must-read. Atrelegis (talk) 14:30, March 13, 2013 (UTC) Thanks for the advice, I'll keep it in mind _Kill1mes • [[User_talk:Kill1mes|'Talk']] 05:30, March 17, 2013 (UTC) Score 8.1/10 - CrashingCymbal (talk) 10:28, July 3, 2013 (UTC) dis DIS Plot: 10/10 A plot that drags you in and keeps you in, full of its own little twists and turns along the way, and also some well thought-out moral dilemmas. Well-crafted. Originality: 8/10 Woods, demons, empty houses- I've seen all that before, but this pasta doesn't seem cliche. Writing: 10/10 Great, descriptive writing, with well-written dialogue. The contrast is clear between the girl's mocking attitude and tone and Alex's shocked mental state. One knows everything, one knows nothing, and the writing conveys that messages clearly. Ending: 6/10 Honestly, considering the quality of the pasta, I was surprised at how rushed the ending seemed like. It's a good ending, but something a bit more creative (and more mysterious, instead of the girl spilling the entire can of beans by explaining EVERY SINGLE THING that happened in the story) and open-ended. I don't want to know what happened; I don't want to know the what, I want to know the why. Who is this demon, really? Why the woman, placing gender differences aside. I want to keep on thinking about this pasta, instead of reading an ending that wraps it up all-so-nicely. Overall Experience: 10/10 A great pasta overall. Does justice to future pastas that have multiple contributors to the story. Honestly, I had trouble getting past the first part- the part where the narrator finds himself on a forest floor, covered with blood, seeing strange things blah blah blah. But once I got past that part and into the house- figuratively and literally speaking- the story really got going. Well done. Final score: 44/50 But... my loot... 15:02, April 1, 2013 (UTC) I really like this creepypasta! It was really well writen and the story was very intresting, I couldnt help but to love it. When you started to read it you had to read it to the end! I must say this may be one of the best creepypasta's I have ever read. Well done my friend! I really hope to read more creepypasta's from you. This was beautifully writen and even thought it was longer than most it was unbelively good and intresting! I really really like it and I hope you write more storys like this! Keep it up! ; u ; Virus399 (talk) 12:57, June 8, 2013 (UTC)